Mana_Aramaki

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BACKGROUND
Do you know what's great about being an unbirth ninja? Nothing. It's like, omg, you can't go anywhere without some rival ninja clan warrior trying to stuff you up their hoo-haw, and it's all, like, all the time! And you can't go to the mall and hang out with your friends because, oh wait, you don't HAVE any friends because they keep getting shoved up some rival ninja clan warrior's hoo-haw to get you to fight them in honorable unbirth combat. What. The. Hell? And it's not like you have the TIME to even go to the mall even IF you had friends (which you don't), because it's off to Secret Ninja Daycamp to train, train, train! Sooo much training. And it doesn't stop, even when I'm at school. You'd think that I'd be allowed to pay attention in math class without some lady's crawl flying at me once in a while so that I can get into college and become a lawyer or a doctor or something respectable, but nooooooooo. 'Must follow clan, or ancestors displeased'.

And don't get me started about the ancestors. It's all like, 'Mana, train harder or ancestors displeased', or 'Mana, go shove this random person you've never met up your vajayjay, or ancestors displeased', or, oh, oh, this one, 'Mana, pick up bread and milk from store on way home from school or ancestors displeased'. I don't think I've, like, ever heard these guys pleased with anything. It's like they're all always spinning in their graves fast enough to generate electricity. Goddddddddd. Fuck 'em! Yeah, that's right, I said it! Fuck the ancestors and the giant donkey dildo they rode in on! Who needs 'em? Bunch of sourpusses, is what they all are.

And this costume! I look like a cosplay reject! How do you accessorize this thing? How do you accessorize this thing!? YOU DON'T, SUCKER!!! And naturally, naturally you can't wear any panties, because God knows the ancestors would be displeased if you didn't dress like a ho-bag. Half the school thinks I'm a total slut-cake because I'm always in a skirt with no undies. Not that that's hard, because, once again, it just isn't a 'normal' day without some tart flying at me, crotch first. As if I wanted all of this crap-sandwhich dumped in my lap. Puh-leaze, as soon as I am done with highschool I am moving to like Iceland where people don't run around all day trying to shove each other in whatever orifice doesn't pucker fast enough. I mean seriously, what kind of psychopath wants to do that all the time?

Is it really so much to ask to be a normal girl? Sigh. Being a ninja totally sucks.