Nora_and_Ritsu

You lament your lack of an adblocker as yet another unskippable advertisement loads in the middle of your entertainment. You briefly consider taking the opportunity to get up and grab a snack, but the ghastly opening frame of the video catches your eye. The video begins, lingering on the horrid imitation of a title screen as poorly-filtered audio buzzes lightly in your headphones.


"Hey Reets, we're rolling, right?"
"Nora, I told you what the red light meant. What's your point?"
"Haven't you been holding up the title card for a long time? It can't take them that long to read, unless maybe they're really dumb or something."
"It's important to get our brand name embedded into the minds of potential customers!"
"At this rate the ad will end before they even see our faces! Gimme that!" A set of fingers enters the frame, grabbing at the title card (which was literally just a big card sitting in front of the camera) and pulling it away. The dusty interior of a small apartment comes into view. Cluttering every visible flat surface is every manner of household junk, from old takeout containers to mistreated manga volumes. If you squint just right, you can make out the cover of one of the books. It's blatantly porn, and it's being broadcast all over the internet. Nice.
From behind the camera, a girl steps into view, her rusty-red hair resting on her bare shoulders and her athletic apparel doing little to cover her slender body. She wore a goofy grin as she stared smugly at the scarlet titlecard. "Uh, Reets? Did you commission a little kid to make this?" She snickers a bit, before flinching backwards as something came at her from out of frame.
From the left, a second girl enters the frame, lunging into the first's personal space and attempting to grab the card out of her hands. "It's not my fault you don't have an eye for aesthetics, Nora!" The newcomer is a few inches shorter than the first girl, but is wearing a similar outfit (though to be frank, she doesn't fill out the top nearly as well). "You know that graphic design is my passion, so just trust me on this one!" She makes a lunge for the card (now held at arm's length above the first girl's boistrously-laughing head), but overcommits, sending both girls tumbling to the ground in a heap.
The taller girl continues laughing uproariously, only pausing to cough a bit after inhaling from the cloud of freshly-airborne dust. "Alright alright, let's just get on to the part where we introduce ourselves. That was one of the things we needed to do, right?" She stands up and brushes herself off. "I'll start, since I'm the main hero!" The redhead looks directly into the camera and grins. "My name's Nora, and I'm the strongest girl in the world!"
Off to the side, the lavender-haired girl pouts adorably at Nora. "I don't know where you're getting these ideas of 'main hero' and 'strongest' from, Nora, considering I beat you in our spar yesterday." "Gehehe." "We're partners, silly." She playfully shoves Nora aside and faces the camera. "My name is Ritsu. I'm the other cofounder of N and R's Problem-Punching Incorporated. We specialize in takedowns of every type of monstergirl infestation, from lamia dens to ancient dragons. We also offer our combat expertise for dealing with criminal threats, as long as you don't expect to take them into custody afterwards. After all, we didn't get this strong by missing out on perfectly good protein, did we?"
Nora sidles up to Ritsu's side and slings an arm around her shoulders. "Hey hey Reets, tell them how fast you are!" Grinning, she continues talking without giving Ritsu a chance to speak. "She's super fast! Seriously, when she fights, you can't even blink without losing track of her. I honestly can't remember the last time anyone's landed a hit on her, besides me of course! Plus, she always seems to know exactly when and where to attack, since she's so smart and all."
Ritsu blushes lightly under such heavy praise. "Didn't you want me to tell them? You were supposed to show off how strong you are, not hog my spotlight! Dummy." She sighs dramatically. "For what it's worth, Nora is absurdly strong. Last week, I watched her suplex a FedEx truck because it didn't bring the chinese takeout she ordered." At this point, Ritsu is pinching the bridge of her nose, wincing at the memory. "I put so much effort into perfecting my training routine, and what does she do? She just lifts. Sometimes she lifts all day long. Honestly, if I put any stock into scientific views on human anatomy, I'd be astounded that she hasn't fallen apart yet. It's a wonder she's not some hulking monstronsity by now, to be honest."
Nora chuckles at this. "As if I'd ever lose my girlish figure, Reets. I was born to hit hard and look good while doing it!"
"You should probably prove it for the camera, Nora. Pick up something heavy real quick so we can move on."
"But there isn't anything heavy in here! You told my I couldn't keep bringing boulders home, remember?"
"Just pick up the couch a couple times, normal people find those pretty heavy."
"They do?!?"
"Yes, they do." Ritsu steps back from the camera and plops down on the lumpy couch in the background, crossing her legs and waiting for Nora to begin.
Nora simply shrugs and approaches the couch, though curiously, she stands near the end instead of the center of gravity. Wrapping her forearms around the armrest, she simply leans back and effortlessly hoists the couch off the ground. "Are you sure this is enough to show off? This seriously isn't hard, Reets." Her voice doesn't carry an ounce of strain, and she doesn't appear to be breaking a sweat.
"Yeah, this is plenty. Hurry and put me down so we can move on!"
"Got it." With a slight lean to the left, Nora tilts the couch and dumps Ritsu unceremoniously onto the floor. Laughing uproariously at her prank, she drops the couch back to the floor without any regard for its structural integrity. Seriously, it must suck to be neighbors with these girls.
Almost too quickly for the camera to detect, Ritsu launches herself from the floor into a spinning kick, only to have her foot caught nonchalantly in midair by Nora. After a mere frame of hesitation, the two girls launch into a blur of motion, their impromptu spar more intense than any firework show you've ever witnessed. Before you get to see whether or not they'll destroy their living room, however, a wayward kick clips the camera, filling your screen with static.

You're left briefly wondering whether those two girls are aware that they were advertising a hitman service on a major streaming platform, but before you can ponder this further, the ad ends and you're distracted by a kitten playing with a laser pointer.