Zoe
was at
Permavore_Risk!
Zoe was at a bar on Friday night with a bunch of her BFFs when one of them drunkenly dared her to sneak into the zoo and take selfies with an animal. Equally drunk, Zoe accepted the bet and, despite her inebriation, managed to scale the wall into the zoo after-hours and stumble her way to the under construction reptile exhibit. This proved to be a terrible, terrible mistake.
Zoe snapped a bunch of selfies in front of the enclosure housing the 'world's largest snake'... and when she made her way into the terrarium, the serpent attacked her!
Tripping her over, the snake curled around Zoe's legs and worked it's way up her body. Her struggles to fight back only rewarded her with both legs and an arm broken, as well as several bruised ribs. When the fight had been squeezed out of her, the snake opened it's jaws and swallowed her whole, reducing the party-loving office worker to so much meat. All that was left to let anyone know what had happened were a few indigestible articles of clothing and her phone, with several pictures... including one of the snake wrapping itself around the intoxicated woman's legs!
They tell you a lot of things when you're young. They tell you that you can be anything that you put your mind to. They tell you that if you work hard in school, you've got good odds of getting at least as far as your parents got. Live the American dream. What no one ever told Zoe Osborne was the truth; that adult life sucks and you work until you die. Somewhere along the line, Zoe had an American flag thrown in her face; so much for the dream!
Now, as a woman grown, Zoe finds herself working at a desk, crunching budget numbers for a large, faceless company that doesn't care about her, over-works her, and pays her less then what she deserves. Sadly, this is the new America. Fortunately, Zoe is a new American woman!
You see, Zoe doesn't care about having a 'big house' or 'a second car' or those things called 'children' or 'a family'... unneeded expenses! Zoe rents a super-cheap econo-loft in a swinging part of town, works her ass off during the week, and lives life hard as hell on the weekends. You see, Zoe has this philosophy, 'the Dude abides'. She stole it from a movie but it's been working so far. See, Zoe noticed that all her co-workers were super stressed trying to get 'ahead' in life... so she stopped trying to. Simple as that. It all seemed so damn pointless... what good is a Cadillac if you can't drive with a broken back? Zoe isn't content to polish the fenders, that seems like such a waste to her. So instead of working hard to get ahead... Zoe works hard to get paid, then does things that make her happy.
Things that make Zoe happy include hitting up a bar with friends, crashing parties of people that have a lot more money then she does, all night movie marathons, the latest Call of Duty game, eating out at restaurants instead of cooking... a lot of things make Zoe happy and she's got very little in the way of impulse control. Saving money? Investing in future developments that are going to inevitably flop anyway? Fuck it! What's the point of living if you don't live life happy? So damn the torpedoes, full fun ahead!
So that's Zoe's life in a nutshell, she works hard so that she can play hard. She's young, yet, so she can still push her body at full tilt all the time and not really suffer the adverse effects. But of course, the caffeine pills and energy drinks keep you going but for so long before you have to crash... and crash Zoe is going to. She opens herself up to so many dangers in this world, gallivanting around like a bull in a China shop... and is ignorant to the majority of them, and often rushes ahead blindly where a wiser head would have instead waited.