CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE NOW FOUND THE REASON WHY THIS DIPSHIT SPORADICALLY ROLLS DICE!!!
The following is a List of shit
that
Miler has stolen condensed
into a floating mass of paper with its
own sassy personality. Consider
this a Lurk Alt and a personal game
when no one's hanging out with me.
!1d20
1-2:FAILURE AND JAIL!!!
3-4:Nothing
5-6:Worthless Junk
7-8:Basic Trinket
9-10:Average Trinket
11-12:Above Average
13-14:Reasonably Rare
15-16:Rare, Large, and/or Notable
17-18:Historic Treasure
19-20:At-fucking-lantis
/////
- 800 tons of popcorn
- 17 crates of M'n'Ms
- A taco truck
- A handmade greatsword fashioned with stolen jewelry
- 20 tons worth of car batteries
- A fortune teller robot.
- 17 wedding cakes.
- 36 Ceramic Jars of lava.
- A carton of nutmeg
- three tree grown potatoes
- a series of collectable popcorn buckets
- godzilla's toenail
- an electric wheelchair
- A green dump truck.
- three dubloons
- an entire aquarium of sea life.
- 10% of the catalog of the Library of Alexandria.
- A rainbow party horn.
- An Alligator Snapping Turtle. "Fortissax my Beloved."
- the main gun of an M1-Abrams
- 80,403 seperate lego sets.
- 3 UV lamps.
- An Exorcism kit
- A pagan Death God relic.
- an original copy of Shadow of The Colossus
- a rope and 2 anvils
- 23 steel cages.
- A cyberware Pc Tower.
- a possessed teddy bear
- a crab in samurai armor.
- 37 decks of playing cards.
- Buddha's library card.
- A filing cabinet
- A shopping cart
- the casket of an egyptian pharaoh
- anakin skywalker's legs.
- a laser gun that sends the entirity of Underground by Tom Waits into someone's head.
- 2 sacks of Carls Jr's nuggets
- 120 gallons of acid
- A crimson warstaff from ancient china.
- 6 car engines
- 370 sticks of dynamite
- A black pickaxe
- 7 gallons of sticky glue
- An AC-130 warthog
- General Greivous' stache of lightsabers.
- The wheel of a monster truck
- The diginity of a Finnish Forest God.
- A blunt wrapped in an endangered plant species.
- A honda civic with a human shaped dent on the hood.
- Dimensional laser pistol
- A plushie of a Dimensional laser pistol.
- A Medieval Catapult.
- Black Bagpipes
- 2 red kazoos
- Kayden's fridge.
- The Demon Core
- A Reality destroying donut
- A triceratops skull.
- A ball pit that sends you to a dimension of playground themed demons.
- A golden statue of Bender from Futurama in a napoleonic soldier uniform.
- 470 meter large chunk of the moon.
- A traffic cone with a katana in the side.
- 7 Hot Topic stores.
- Waluigi's spare hat.
- A bag of human-sized lobsters.
- Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas on blue-ray.
- A statue of Bob Ross containing 69 fire spirits.
- Optimus prime's left horn.
- Alternate dimension Hag Brew recipe.
- Chriax's saliva.
- A barrel of fake swords.
- A cash register with 483 dollars inside.
- A laser pistol that turns people into plushies.
- A hammer made out of many smaller hammers.
- The first spear created by mankind.
- 7837 Cajun sausages.
- A lead deck of playing cards.
- Fourty-eight magnesium pills
- Transformers on DVD
- GI-JO on DVD
- The Simpsons movie on DVD
- Howard the Duck on DVD
- A new york giant's jersey
- Mr Bean on DVD.
- Bloodborne 2
- An enterprise of white vans.
- A genie lamp with superglue on the lid.
- A hat.
- Something that isn't a hat.
- The second american penny ever manufactured.
- Two porcelain elephant statues.
- A perfectly preserved Atlantean household.
- 2 purple water coolers
- 274 human knee caps.
- A harpy egg.
- A stick shaped like a musket.
- Five Ancient Egyptian Khopeshes.
- A cease and desist order signed by 639 multiversal governments
- An Anti-Rapga net.
- Chuck Norris' sunglasses.
- The List of Stupid Fucking Mongrel Hellspawn I hate :>
- Backup keys for the United States cheese vault.
- The answers to every lore question in a soulsborne game.
- 24 blunts made by an evil wizard.
- A series of pills that transforms someone into a tank.
- The grave of a glass measuring cup
- Megamind's DE-gun
- 12 Plutonium shrek statues.
- Pink Adeptus Astartes armor.
- A bucket capable of starting wars.
- The Beetles if they were goblins.
- 4 robot skulls
- Six rainbow sprinkle donuts.
- A purple and gold music box.
- 15,028 pounds of turtle food.
EnoUgh BuLlsHit to FerTIlIze A tHoUSAND FieLdS - An exact replica of Big Ben.
- 700 Phoenix downs.
- The skull of Dagon, Lord of the Old Abyss.
- A shrunken version of the sun.
- The concept of Hydrogen.
- 29 F-22 Raptors.
- The Lance of Longinus
- 5830 gigabytes of information pertaining to the invention of the microwave across the multiverse.
- The ashes of 147,506 deceased Fae Spirits
- Bahamut's Materia
- Odin's Materia
- 12 Tomahawk Missiles
- Lightning Perfume recipe
- Fire Perfume recipe
- Frost Perfume recipe
- Poison Perfume recipe
- Madness Perfume recipe
- A Water Bending Scroll
- 7 Caprisuns from 1988
- A cup from 6028 B.C
- The front half of a Cargo Ship.
- A glass measuring cup with a butterfly scribbled on the handle.
- 10,000 Purple Shirts.
- 10,000 Jeans.
- 19,999 Purple Socks.
- A Golden Sock.
- 5 Authentic Cutlasses.
- A cowboy hat with a gila monster in it.
- The Skeletal Remains of King Arthur.
- The PLANET of Pluto.
- A Plastic Eyeball.
- 6 Phalanx Shields.
- An African Elephant named Gordon.
- Mecha-King Ghidorah.
- A Nerf Blast-A-Ball.
- Sinh, Slumbering Dragon.
- A Christmas Goat.
- an instance of SCP-500 "Fortissax's first crime ;-;"
- 680 weaponized turtle robots.
- His own Adeptus Custodes
- 14 authentic pirate hats.
- Megatron's fusion cannon.
- A silver Moped
- A Castle made out of Blackstone.
- 43 pounds of Kratos, God of War.
- 385 Lolipops.
- An Imperial Star Destroyer.
- An Imperial Star Destroyer piloted by Coconut Crabs.
- 5 Royal Crowns.
- A Peacemaker.
- A necklace containing a photo of multiple Milers.
- Hyper-Digestion laser pistol.
- A toy monkey with cymbals.
- A white toy train.
- 3 cyan bullet trains.
- 77 Beer Bottles
- 13 Random Pirate Funkopops
- The remains of a forest giant mid-Sprigganization
- The Book.
- Schematics to gaps in the Multiverse.
- A snowglobe of his family.
- 5 fully decorated Christmas Trees.
- 721 Glass Bottles.
- One of Placidusax's heads.
- 83 pounds of Platinum
- A skateboard depicting Godzilla vs Kiryu.
- A Big Daddy in hybernation.
- 24 milliliters of ADAM.
- 34 Royal High Elf relics.
- 7 Holy Anti-demon candles.
- A throne made out of candles.
- 9 Purple Dragon Eggs.
- 13 Cowbells
- A burlap sack containing a wereshiba spirit.
-
Demi_Thorrin- 2 Dodos
- A time travelling trashcan.
- A T-rex egg.
- An Argentinasaurus named Benji
- A Crow Monster with rabies.
- 64 piece Psychic Bubblegum pack
- Kisuke's Clock.
- A Hate Mace, forged pure of hate, wielded only by those who know tremendous hate. Made on Planet Heaven.
- A jar containing the collective misery of 43 fast food employees.
- Kirby.
- A space marine helmet "Blood Ravens legion"
- A Schneider A1
- A samurai skeleton with a katana and grenade stuck in it.
- 5% ownership of Youtube
- 5,593 novels of Oswald the Octopus.
- 3 of Quetzalcoatl's horns.
One EGo OverSIzEd - The Colossus of Rhodes.
- A miniature of the Colossus of Rhodes.
- 14 Eyes of Ender.
- A map to El Dorado
- 2 Sarlaacs
- Asterix's magic potion.
- A Fatalis Glaive.
- A Light Breaker Press.
- The keys to an evaporated Tesla Truck.
- The keys to a honda civic stepped on by a kaiju.
- A honda civic stepped on by a kaiju.
- A discarded Unicorn Horn.
- A copy of The Nexus inside a Fishbowl.
- An Imperial Lazgun
- 43 Plasma Fractile Grenades.
- A homonculus.
- Cherno Alpha.
- A golden sledgehammer.
- A wallet with cobwebs inside.
- 53,529 empty tin cans.
- 3 Emperor Class Titans.
- Tiamat's wedding ring.
- A black and yellow 1977 Camaro.
- The Black Mortal Blade.
- A pair of Black Boxing gloves.
- 637 Assorted plague remedies.
- Echidna Wars DX on mobile.
- A Victorian Era Vampire name Louise.
- 19 Thunderbird talons.
- A 20x20m bank vault covered in slashes and numerous switch blades.
- A Contageous Brain Eating Ameoba contained inside a Blueberry Pancake.
- 43 Blueberry Pancakes.
- 4,351 Sunglasses.
- Cassie's meathook.
- Messmer's fire extinguisher.
- Dark Moon Wedding Ring.
- The Remains of a 230 meter tall Storm Giant
- 600 pounds of printing paper.
- 1x1 cubic meter of glass
- A butter knife.
- An Amazon Drone from the 41st Millenium
- Grey's hotdog mac'n'cheese.
- A swamp cooler
- 69 Gift Cards.
- 7 other Milers
- The Pledge of Allegiance "duh."
- 583 Seperate Tree saplings
- 4,738 pounds of mulch.
- A mass production EVA unit.
- A Carrot Sticker kept inside a vault guarded by multiple machine gun turrets.
- A bear costume.
- One of Hephaestus' hammers
- A Decepticon Warrior.
- The Death Note.
- The United States Cheese Caves.
- A 2024 Chevrolet Camaro.
- 16 Psycho Warrior Globules
- A Xenomorph Egg.
- 3 Starscourge Greatswords.
- A prison complex.
- A cursed celtic warhammer.
- 46% of the vegetation present in the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
- 58 Pounds of Assorted Peppermint Candies.
- The Sleigh "You know which one."
- The remains of Kos.
- An evil glass jar.
///////////////////////////////////
Things stolen from Miler:
- His Virginity
- 37 Cents USD.
- His real name.
