PerilDesertTours








"Ugh, I suck at these but whatever. Hey, I'm Phio and I humbly invite you to Peril Desert Tours. I'll be your guide but don't expect me to come save your ass if you don't listen to what I gotta say."

"Peril. It's in the name. Expect lots of it here. If the heat doesn't get ya, all the other beasties roaming it will. Also, I charge extra for air conditioning aboard the sand craft. Yes, I own a sand craft. How else do ya expect to cross the desert? On foot? Go ahead if you wanna either singe off your footprints or dry up like a piece of jerky. My tour, my rules. Ya follow what I say, you get to see some sexy monster girls that inhabit the place AND stay cool."

"You either heard about us through an ad, a stream, or maybe one of our subsidiary branches like DangerSwampTours. Likely being some thrill-seekers wanting to see some of the hot action that goes on out there. Maybe you're researchers. Maybe you're just a masochist who enjoys slowly killing themselves with temperatures dry enough to roast the air inhaled into your lungs. Whatever floats your boat...craft...whatever. Field trip folk are extra. Remember that. Count whoever ya bring, too. Peril Desert Tours is not responsible for the dumbassery of your party who may or may not get themselves snatched off the craft and promptly fill out some beastie's belly."

"But yeah, this place is like...massive. Huge. We got monster girls of the normal variety like your typical lamia and lamia variants like yours truly. Scorpion and other various insect girls lay hidden throughout the desert here, waiting to just spring up and grab someone. Funniest shit ever when it happens. Mostly people not listening to me which makes it extra funny. There's also some infamous gals that roam out here, even mythical ones that are rarely seen. They're a real treat to see but please do not try to agitate them. I can handle some of them but the legendary ones? You piss 'em off and I'm yeeting your sorry ass into their open maws to appease them while the rest of the people, myself included, make a clean getaway while you digest. Hey, them's the rules. Think Danger Swamp is bad? Everything has to struggle to survive out here. So when a meal is in sight, these gals will not hesitate. Just giving you fair warning before you try anything stupid."

"What else we got...? Oh yeah. Centaurs. They're popular here. But like all the other beasties out there, if the mood strikes them, you're on a one way trip down their gullet to be processed into boob or ass fat. Also we got harpies. Lots and lots of harpies. They're the number one cause of folk getting snatched right off the deck. So when I say get inside.....get the fuck inside. Dawdle for even a second and well ya get it. Nomf. Gulp. Burp. Simple as that. Think we got a dragon or two out there, a chimera....and that one crazy chick with three heads. And some sand sharks too. The teeth are for show; they much prefer their victims whole and wriggling all the way down. Then it takes weeks to digest you and they love it when you scream ahahaha....oh right...where was I? Oh right, this ad."

"Come on down, we got refreshments to keep you hydrated and snacks to keep you inside so you're not out there becoming one yourself. Pass the good word along if ya live through it and we'll even throw in a complimentary t-shirt for an extra fee. Also, refrain from hitting on me; I have a girlfriend who can and will eat you too. I will not shy away from compliments but please do not push it. Follow what I say to ensure you safety on trips. ANd lastly, have some common sense, alright? It's not hard. Unless you WANT to get stuffed inside an orifice of a monster girl and melted down into whatever fluid they desire. Just cash upfront, alright? Other than that, looking forward to being your ray of sunshine in this hellish wasteland."

Named Desert Denizens

(DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the art)



Cahru
"Cahru's a sneaky one. She's one of those that I told ya about that ambushes. Usually, she snatches folk but if she needs to take down fighters, she has a strong venom in her stinger to make em all loosey goosey. Then it's up to her whether she swallows you with er mouth...or her tail. You're going to the same place either way. But if it were me? Tail. "



Zaifa
"The Queen Lamia of the area. She has her own harem and everything. It rocks. Been there once myself. Oh right. Her tits are her draw. No. Literally. She really likes using her boobs to swallow her victims. She rarely eats anything herself. Her metabolism is super crazy. Maybe she gets nutrients from her boob juices? Maybe I'll ask next time."



Cactus Kate
"A cactus alraune of these parts that kinda get 'justice' injected into her or something. She's harmless...if ya ain't a criminal or anything. Seriously. She can smell it on folk. Done a crime? She knows. And then it's off to jail for you. That's what her stomach is called. Never seen the inside myself but I've heard she doesn't just digest ya; you get drained of every single inch of moisture in your body til she decides you're done."




Leene
"Resident chill centaur. Seriously. SHe's the coolest. SHe's even up for a chat. Just realize though if you hit on her, she's gonna take it seriously and put you through the wringer. Like...she has stamina and a huge...yeah she's got one. Chances are if ya can't handle this bucking bronco, that's exactly where you'll wind up. Don't say I didn't warn ya."




Vazelune
"Sand shark numero uno and my bestie. Sure she lets her gills hang out but you should see her when she's on the hunt. If you fall overboard, chances are you'll be seeing her up close...and inside. But maybe you'll get lucky and she'll wanna play a bit before her stomach gets the better of her. She tells the best desert jokes. Sure they're dry and all but...HEY NO PITY LAUGHING! But yeah, she's a bottomless pit. Nine turists...hoo boy she couldn't make it home."



Tawny
"Cutest thing ever. Period. She's a sand cat and does sand cat things. She's the least dangerous of any predator. Hell, she even comes along on tours sometimes and naps on deck. But...don't get too close when she naps...she sleep eats. Let sleeping cats lie. Especially this adorable lil one. Looks especially cute when she wakes up with a round belly and wonders what happened."



Pip
"Okay, I said Tawny was cute but Pip is like extra so. She's a harpy that politely asks to eat you. Thing is, she has like a charm spell when she does but she doesn't know it herself. Easily embarassed and sometimes can't even ask someone properly. She kinda likes collecting rocks though. Oh and uh, if she does ask to eat you, you're probably gonna say yes. That charm spell is super powerful...when she gets over her stage fright."




Mizerondias
"Mkay. Yeah. We run into her, tour's over. I'm hightailing it out. Miz is like super duper aggressive and even eats the other monster girls for fun cuz she has THREE DAMN HEADS! She may not have necks but guess what? Their throats connect via some magic stuff that warps them directly into their stomach and ya know what? She's always hungry and she's very powerful. She likes me for some reason. Maybe cuz she sees my sandcraft as like a nice party platter she can pick from on tours. I got swallowed by her once. It was trippy. She let me out though...maybe to provide her with more snacks. I dunno. Fun fact: the souls of her victims remain trapped inside...and they just won't SHUT UP!"




Yannylise
"Forget what she was called. Like a fire kirin dragon or something? Either way, think of her like the head honcho out in the desert who is always keeping Miz in check. She's practically a goddess. Doesn't mean tourists are safe from her though. Anyone she eats gets reborn in the desert somewhere though as a new monster girl. Zero memory. Or so the legend goes. She's super chatty and loves going on and on about her prowess. Out of everyone, she loves playing with her food the most. But 9 times out of 10...actually 20 out of 10, her prey enjoys it. She's weird but fun."




Other Ashtageo Tour Spots
DangerSwampTours
RiskyGlaciersTours